IF I WERE THE DEVIL

If I were the devil Paul Harvey 1965

If I were the devil… If I were the prince of darkness, I’d want to engulf the whole world in darkness, and I’d have a third of its real estate and four-fifths of its population, but I wouldn’t be happy until I seized the ripest apple from the tree. “thee” So I’d set about however necessary to take over the United States. I’d subvert the churches first. I’d began with a campaign of whisperers. With the wisdom of a serpent, I would whisper to you as I whispered to Eve: “Do as you please.” To the young, I would whisper that the Bible is a myth. I would confide that what’s bad is good and what’s good is “square or boring.” And the old, I would teach to pray after me: “Our farther which art in Washington “And then, I’d get organized. I’d educate authors in how to make lurid literature exciting so that anything else would appear dull and uninteresting. I’d threaten TV with dirtier movies and vice versa. I’d pedal narcotics to whom I could. I’d sell alcohol to ladies and gentlemen of distinction. I’d tranquilize the rest with pills. If I were the devil, I’d soon have families at war with themselves, and nations at war with themselves until each in its turn was consumed and with promises of higher ratings, I’d have fake news media fanning the flames. If I were the devil, I’d encourage the schools to refine intellects but neglect to discipline emotions - just let those run wild until before you knew it, you’d have to have drug sniffing dogs and metal detectors at every schoolhouse door. Within a decade I’d have prisons overflowing. I’d have judges promoting pornography. Soon I could evict God from the courthouse, and then from the schoolhouse, and then from the Houses of Congress. And in his own churches I would substitute psychology for religion and defy science. I would lure priest and pastors into misusing boys and girls and church money. If I were the devil, I’d make the symbol of Easter an egg and the symbol of Christmas a bottle. If I were the devil, I would take from those who have and give to those who wanted until I have killed the incentive of the ambitious. And I bet you I could get the whole states to promote gambling as a way to get rich. I would caution against extremes in hard work, in patriotism, in moral conduct. I would convince the young that marriage is old fashion, that swinging is more fun, that what you see on TV is the way to be. And thus, I could undress you in public, and I could lure you into bed, with diseases for which there is no cure. In other words, I’d just keep right on doing what he is doing.

Written by Paul Harvey in 1965